Sometimes I wonder if people think that because we’ve answered the call to mission overseas that we are in a continual state of obedience and favour with God just by being here. This is so not the case. It is true that it took a number of years and a lot of guts to finally obey the call to Niger, but that hasn’t exempted me from needing to be obedient every day whilst living here. I can live here, since I moved here, but just living isn’t fulfilling the call. The call is daily obedience.
Before I had my kids I had dreamt of them, so I knew I would be having a boy and a girl very close in age. When I had Belle in my arms in the first week or so and watched Hunter running around the lounge room, I had a wonderful sense that I’d done it - I was on track with what God had prepared in advance for me to do. But it didn’t stop there – it will never stop, I am their mother for their and my whole lifetime, which means a daily and moment by moment choice to try and love them the way God asks me to. (All mums will know that’s easier said than done.) I arrived here, Heidi Baker as my idol, having some grand idea that I would become her. Finally I was among the poor and needy children, ready to save them out of their tragic destiny and offer them hope, ready to give my all and spend myself on behalf of what Christ has done for me, speaking His goodness and acting in love to heal the hurting and broken. It didn’t take long to realise I wasn’t her, but I fought with the expectation for quite a while. As usual my head is filled with ideals about how God can use me. I am a wonderful person, we are good parents, why don’t we just adopt more children so I can be generous with the blessed family He’s given me and change some lives?? Like a door slammed in my face, a balloon farting out its air, the reality of my capacity arrives. I can barely keep up with looking after the two children he’s given me. I have a migraine for a day and a half and suddenly there’s no food in the cupboard, no one has clean clothes, and everyone’s wanting the Andy they’ve missed. There is the reality of wanting to close my gate and not let 20 kids run around the yard pulling out flowers and vegies. The reality of giving to one and then 10 more arrive wanting the same. The reality of my own walk with God, which has not yet seemed to take the form of all-sufficient, and so I get tired and grumpy and have nothing left to give. If I’m here for His plans and purposes, what is the daily obedience? I think often of the verse; “Taking hold of that for which Christ took hold of me.” Phil 3:12 - knowing that He has specifically taken hold of me for the ministry of reconciliation: reconciling the world to Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19) But how? Is there a set of things to accomplish? If I’m not Heidi, what does Andy’s life as a missionary look like? Where do I look to – what do I follow? The out workings of God’s heart in faith filled lives are as numerous as the parts of the body. Note the intended reference – as Brad mentioned in his last blog. Thankfully, the answer is where the answer is always found. In Jesus. He said HE is the way, the truth and the life. HE HIMSELF is the way. What does that mean? It means, if you are standing at the start of a maze with a thousand twists and turns, that Jesus is the only one who knows the way, and the only way to find it is by following him very closely every step of the way. He won’t stand back and tell you where to go, He won’t give you a map and leave you to work it out, He won’t wait at the end unseen and yell at you so you might work out the path. No, no, no. He will go one step before you, He will hold you by your hand. If you stubbornly resist, He is patient. Everyone’s maze is different. The only one who knows the way through your maze is Jesus. The only way to find the right path is to hold His hand, to stay close to Him, to turn when He turns, to stop when He stops, to run when He runs, to rest when He rests, and to keep on doing it until the very end. So what does that mean? It means; talking to Him, listening to Him, seeking His presence, reading His word and learning His character; so you can identify when He is speaking or doing something and inviting you into it. It means that knowing Him is an unavoidable basis for knowing the way. “I will take hold of your hand.” Isaiah 42:6 “For your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth.” Psalm 26:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” Psalm 23:4 “If the Lord delights in a man’s way, He will make his steps firm. Though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand.” Psalm 37:23-24 “I am the way, the truth and the life.” John 14:6 “Follow me.” Matthew 4:19 “And surely I am with you always, until the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
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AuthorWe are Brad, Andy, Hunter and Belle. Hoping to keep you connected! Archives
May 2019
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