Sometimes I wonder if people think that because we’ve answered the call to mission overseas that we are in a continual state of obedience and favour with God just by being here. This is so not the case. It is true that it took a number of years and a lot of guts to finally obey the call to Niger, but that hasn’t exempted me from needing to be obedient every day whilst living here. I can live here, since I moved here, but just living isn’t fulfilling the call. The call is daily obedience.
Before I had my kids I had dreamt of them, so I knew I would be having a boy and a girl very close in age. When I had Belle in my arms in the first week or so and watched Hunter running around the lounge room, I had a wonderful sense that I’d done it - I was on track with what God had prepared in advance for me to do. But it didn’t stop there – it will never stop, I am their mother for their and my whole lifetime, which means a daily and moment by moment choice to try and love them the way God asks me to. (All mums will know that’s easier said than done.) I arrived here, Heidi Baker as my idol, having some grand idea that I would become her. Finally I was among the poor and needy children, ready to save them out of their tragic destiny and offer them hope, ready to give my all and spend myself on behalf of what Christ has done for me, speaking His goodness and acting in love to heal the hurting and broken. It didn’t take long to realise I wasn’t her, but I fought with the expectation for quite a while. As usual my head is filled with ideals about how God can use me. I am a wonderful person, we are good parents, why don’t we just adopt more children so I can be generous with the blessed family He’s given me and change some lives?? Like a door slammed in my face, a balloon farting out its air, the reality of my capacity arrives. I can barely keep up with looking after the two children he’s given me. I have a migraine for a day and a half and suddenly there’s no food in the cupboard, no one has clean clothes, and everyone’s wanting the Andy they’ve missed. There is the reality of wanting to close my gate and not let 20 kids run around the yard pulling out flowers and vegies. The reality of giving to one and then 10 more arrive wanting the same. The reality of my own walk with God, which has not yet seemed to take the form of all-sufficient, and so I get tired and grumpy and have nothing left to give. If I’m here for His plans and purposes, what is the daily obedience? I think often of the verse; “Taking hold of that for which Christ took hold of me.” Phil 3:12 - knowing that He has specifically taken hold of me for the ministry of reconciliation: reconciling the world to Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19) But how? Is there a set of things to accomplish? If I’m not Heidi, what does Andy’s life as a missionary look like? Where do I look to – what do I follow? The out workings of God’s heart in faith filled lives are as numerous as the parts of the body. Note the intended reference – as Brad mentioned in his last blog. Thankfully, the answer is where the answer is always found. In Jesus. He said HE is the way, the truth and the life. HE HIMSELF is the way. What does that mean? It means, if you are standing at the start of a maze with a thousand twists and turns, that Jesus is the only one who knows the way, and the only way to find it is by following him very closely every step of the way. He won’t stand back and tell you where to go, He won’t give you a map and leave you to work it out, He won’t wait at the end unseen and yell at you so you might work out the path. No, no, no. He will go one step before you, He will hold you by your hand. If you stubbornly resist, He is patient. Everyone’s maze is different. The only one who knows the way through your maze is Jesus. The only way to find the right path is to hold His hand, to stay close to Him, to turn when He turns, to stop when He stops, to run when He runs, to rest when He rests, and to keep on doing it until the very end. So what does that mean? It means; talking to Him, listening to Him, seeking His presence, reading His word and learning His character; so you can identify when He is speaking or doing something and inviting you into it. It means that knowing Him is an unavoidable basis for knowing the way. “I will take hold of your hand.” Isaiah 42:6 “For your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth.” Psalm 26:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” Psalm 23:4 “If the Lord delights in a man’s way, He will make his steps firm. Though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand.” Psalm 37:23-24 “I am the way, the truth and the life.” John 14:6 “Follow me.” Matthew 4:19 “And surely I am with you always, until the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
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Things I don’t like
That picking your nose, spitting, and weeing in public are completely acceptable Driving through raw sewerage The restricted food situation eg. No weetbix, no dry biscuits and dip, no take away, no consistency as to what is kept in stock in shops… (although it forces creativity) Excessive rubbish everywhere and no way to get rid of it or mindset to do anything about it When power or water cuts last more than 2 hours. Being judged differently by my skin colour. White = rich and therefore, give me money. Being yelled at as ‘anasara’ (white man) by everyone I pass at the market or in my car Having to think so much more about how and when and how much to be generous with money (implications so much greater here than in Australia) The smells in various parts of the street that make you nearly vomit The fatigue and lack of energy that comes with living in constant heat Things I like That the kids can ride their scooters inside because all the floors are tiled Listening to my kids speak French, and I love listening to other kids speak French Having a house helper to clean my dusty floors and windows (she is really sweet) Waiting for cows or sheep to cross the road before I can keep driving Choosing fabrics and designing clothes (though they rarely come out how I requested) Never being cold. (Except sometimes between 4-9am Dec&Jan – I hate being cold) Painting while goats are walking past Learning to make things from scratch like wraps, tzatiki dip, curries, wholemeal flour… No road rules (it suits my driving style) The surprised smile I get from a beggar boy that I say hello to instead of shooing away. I like that when my friend finds me on the street at dusk he walks me home to make sure I’m safe. I like that everybody shakes hands to say hello. I like that everybody says hello as you walk past. I like challenging the ideas of what a rich white person is supposed to behave like here. I like when I remember what words mean in Fulfulde. I like the storms in rainy season. I like to watch my little friends face that I tutor while he tries to remember what sounds p and t and s make. I like that they live happily under a 1.5m high roof made of sticks and material with no walls for their home, with the goats and the chickens constantly walking through, the baby being swung in a ‘cot’ made from a rice sack hanging from the roof. I like the unmodified genetics of the fruit and vegetables, and that when you throw the scraps in the garden, trees grow. I like the interaction that comes with bargaining at the market. I like the feel of my little friend Grace’s hair after we take out the braids together with her sisters, it is just like sheep's wool. I like that my goat Lily follows me if I take her for a walk. I like making our guard laugh. I like African sauces. I like that men dance and hold hands when they are friends. I like all the amazing different birds that are here, satin blue and bright red, and the beautiful camels and donkeys. As I write this, Andy is lying in bed with another migraine, as she has done for most of the last 24 hours, in pain, with an ice pack, waiting for the symptoms to ease. As most of you know she has endured chronic migraines since she was 12, having several each month and sometimes for multiple days on end. We have tried everything we know to have them stop. WE have seen the best doctors and specialists in Melbourne. We have tried all manner of medications focusing on every conceivable cause and problem. We have tried diets and supplements. We have prayed for decades, sought out and been told by world renowned healers that she is healed, only to heartbreakingly discover the next day she is not. We have not followed any narrow ideology of healing and therefor have missed the obvious. We have found no answers.
You will not find this testimony on any website offering others the answer. You will not find many posts like this on Facebook. We mostly reserve our posts there as our highlight reel or to air our grievances. Yet I believe that it is as important as any to be found in any of the before mentioned places. Although I am not offering you an easy fix, a fb post about having ‘made it’ or a healing testimony, I am offering you a story of great encouragement and faithfulness. This is a testimony to honour Gods faithfulness and my wife, Andy’s endurance and faith, in the face of very difficult circumstances. When I married Andy the quality that stood out the most was her rock solid faith in God and her pursuit of Him. I knew that quality would be a firm foundation to build a marriage on and which would weather any storm, how true it has turned out to be. The bible gives several examples of trusting in God during the storm. It is also filled with countless stories, themes, examples and even entire chapters and books on what is to be faithful to God during difficult times, when healing doesn’t come, when the hardship seeks to overcome us, where there are no answers, where God is not speaking through miracles, when God chooses to allow suffering for His purposes. This may come as a shock to you. It certainly isn’t the trendiest message to lure those seeking instant gratification through ‘Holy Spirit power encounters’, although for many this is a legitimate means in which God does speak. I liken the difference to the analogy of the body found in 1 Corinthians 12. The body is made up of many parts working together for the same purpose. All have been assigned different roles, all are essential. One part cannot want to be another part because the body would be incomplete. We cannot all be the same part, we would be useless! Perhaps the miraculous healings we see are, to follow the analogy, are a very beautiful part of the body. As soon as they are seen we gush and give glory to God. The problem is that we easily forget that this is only one image of the body. To continue the analogy, it is incorrect to think that a radiant face or elegant figure are the only parts that cause the body to function. The same is true for the body of Christ. It is a very incomplete picture if we desire all of the body of Christ to look and function as the most presentable and desirable parts. I believe that one who is faithful during great hardship is just as beautiful, gives the same glory to God, does not need to despair or be told that they need to be different, and deserves the same encouragement as the more radiant parts. In fact Corinthians says they deserve to be treated with special consideration and given special honour, while the presentable parts need no special consideration! Those enduring great trials may not write a self-help book, but without them and their testimony the church would cease to exist. They are essential. Another theme that is repeatedly spoken of throughout the bible, which seems to go against popular thought in todays society and within the church teaching is ‘endurance’. You don’t need to endure if you have nothing to endure through. The writers were assuming that like them and Jesus, believers would be facing trials of various kinds and were being called to endure through them. “through the endurance taught in the scriptures we might have hope”, “through great endurance in troubles hardship or distress”, “so that you may have great endurance and patience, joyfully giving thanks to the father”. It has been a defining characteristic of the church for two thousand years that its members show the faithfulness of their God by not abandoning the hope they possess as they endure through very difficult circumstances. There is not a person I know who does not face trials of some kind. As the church we can be the example and living testimony as those who are faithful and endure, showing that our God is able to give hope and joy to the hurting and those in distress. I never feel so unloved and alone as when I hear the words ‘Jesus healed everyone so if you are not healed its not His problem’. This teaching casts everyone except those who have been healed into a pit of despair. It is not loving. It does not give glory to God or hope to the hurting world. For those who are healed I rejoice with you. But the way in which he has chosen to reveal His glory through you is not the same for everyone. But the purpose of this testimony is not to offer a critique, so much as hope for those who are enduring. So it is with this in mind that I present to you, Andy, for the glory of God, with great endurance and faithfulness over many years, as an encouragement to those who are hurting. What an example she is of holding fast in the storm. How much of encouragement is she for those who are bringing glory to God through their steadfast endurance in the same way. How comforting it is to know that even though it might not be what we choose, God will be glorified if we are faithful. In my eyes, this example mimics the example of Jesus going to the cross when He chose to be faithful and trust Gods plan and timing, rather than call down the heavenly legions at his disposal. In good days and bad, the example of how God sustains her, offers hope to our world for those who don’t experience Gods quick or miraculous intervention for reasons we may never know. He is faithful. Put your trust in Him. He will sustain you. Andy and millions of other believers bear witness to this. I rejoice in the diversity of the body of Christ. We should see those that function differently than us as an indispensable part. We must stop trying to teach the body to all function in the same way. Who knows, perhaps one day we will work together and delight in out different gifts, functions and roles and be amazed by what God has entrusted and is accomplishing through His diverse bride. |
AuthorWe are Brad, Andy, Hunter and Belle. Hoping to keep you connected! Archives
May 2019
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